Born Broken

Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue.  ~ Eugene O’Neill

As many of you know, I write two completely unrelated blogs. Here at Two Minutes of Grace, I share my heart. At the fork in the road, I share my odd daily life as a Yankee counselor/public speaker, transplanted to Texas, working as a Level II security guard for an oil rig.

The job requires living in an RV, working 24/7. If you’re a regular reader here, you know I’ve been traveling for the past 3 weeks to visit family and friends and to buy a new RV. Heidi, Henry and I had managed a 5,211 mile road trip, reasonably incident free. Then, 67 miles from our drill site yesterday, I blearily failed to see a 4 foot palm tree.

The brand new, 2012 5th wheel, that is my home, that I’d owned for 11 days groaned and crunched and gave way to the little tree’s clawing fronds.

My heart sank as I climbed out to survey the damage. There was no choice but to journey on to the job, praying the slide would slide, which it did. Everything still works. It’s functional inside, if damaged on the outside. Sort of like me – except my scrapes and flaws run so much deeper.

That’s the obvious analogy. Now here’s the confession. As I looked at my bent, scratched RV, I was heartsick. I had made such a big mistake. I couldn’t believe I’d done so much damage in just a few seconds.

Even as I was grieving, I was convicted. Am I as heartsick over the damage a few seconds of my sin causes as I was by an accident where no one was harmed? Do I feel sick to my stomach when I’m arrogant or fail to keep my promise to pray or justify a hardening of my heart? Am I as concerned about the damage my words or attitudes can cause in just a few seconds as I was about the scratches and dents in metal?

Grace is my sin insurance. God’s policy covers it all. That doesn’t mean there isn’t collateral damage. I pray for a heart that’s easily convicted of sin and generous with mistakes – a heart like His, where grace is the glue.

Author: Debbie

A former counselor and public speaker, I'm grateful for many, many things - God's grace most of all!

16 thoughts on “Born Broken”

  1. As I just wrote to MT, I write to the rest of you: Debby, Carley, MT (again), Jeff, Judi, SPTP, Heidi and Angel – when I began this simple blog several months ago, I had no idea that I’d be entering into a new, rich bond of fellowship. What a grand surprise!
    ~ Debbie

  2. this post is just another picture of your tender open heart. oh yeah, in addition to finding my phone in the refrigerator yesterday, i backed into ken’s jeep. his response? it’s just a jeep.

  3. I’ve done so much damage to others because of my choices, my personality, my self-protective behavior and my deceit. The 5er is just so much stuff. I love it, but I am glad that the damage was to something on wheels and not to anyone we love.

  4. Wonderful words, Debbie. God is so good to give us His grace so generously — goodness, what alliteration! Unintended, believe me! PS God will take care of all damages, I’m sure. Carley

    1. Carley – Can you imagine what would have happened if I’d been going 15 instead of 5 mph? I might have wiped our the entire park! These damages can be repaired. My prayer is to not cause those that can’t!
      (great alliteration, by the way!)
      ~ Debbie

  5. Debbie, GREAT post! So poignant and true. Why is it that the damage we do on the outside so often far exceeds our understanding/sorrow of the sin damage we do on the inside?

    Love the word picture! Such a great illustration for my kids too. 🙂

    Glad you’re back and safe. Hope the damage is easily repaired.

    1. Cindee – The saddest moments for me are the ones where I KNOW my heart is off course and I let it go there anyway – as was the case here.
      What doesn’t show, people won’t know can turn into a pseudo conscience for me sometimes.
      Thanks for reading and for the welcome home!
      ~ Debbie

    1. Debby – It was discouraging because I knew, even in the moment, that my focus was clouded – but I was able to justify it for several hours. I drove those 67 miles in a Jeep that reeked of mothballs (forgot to take them out when we left it 3 weeks ago) and with a heart reeking of shame and self-reproach. Perspective came, but not naturally, only by grace.
      ~ Debbie

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