Lost

Not all who wander are lost. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

(I’m breaking my 2 minute limit, just today, to offer a bit of explanation – this post may take 3 minutes to read)

All who wander aren’t lost. I have a Life is Good t-shirt that has that written on it. So Tolkienesk, isn’t it?

Wandering is uncomfortable for me. I like to know where I’m going. I was never a big change is an opportunity not a challenge fan. I do believe that’s true for some folks. They love change. I just wasn’t one of them.

Some of you read my other blog, but for those of you who don’t, I now live in a state of perpetual change. I left the Midwest 4 years ago, spending 3 years on the Oregon coast. For this past year, I’ve lived in southern Texas, working as a gate guard on an oil rig.

I’m not sure anything could be more chock full of change. I’ve never worked outside of the Counseling/Training arena. I knew absolutely nothing about the oil industry since we had a massive lack of oil wells in Iowa. I really don’t like hot weather. In southern Texas, it’s summer 9 months out of the year. We had 2 1/2 straight months of 100+ heat this summer.

I’m arachnophobic. I can’t even count the number of tarantulas I’ve seen. More impacting is the fact that I hate conflict which probably makes me the most unlikely security guard in the history of time.

The list goes one. Although I was a public speaker for 20+ years, I don’t speak southern. My not speaking it usually isn’t a problem since the Midwest accent, that I didn’t know I had, is pretty generic. The issue in not speaking southern is that I don’t always know what people are saying. Like working on an oil rig and asking the guys to spell things like OIL because you think they’re saying ALL!

The company I’ve been with all year stacked all their rigs Wednesday. For the past two weeks, I expected to be unemployed. The Father, who has graciously provided work in the most unexpected times and places for these last 4 years. also graciously provided peace. For one who doesn’t like wandering, I didn’t feel any anxiety this time. I was content to wait.

The call for another gate guard job came 2 hours before I would have been out of work. I’m now with a new company, in a new area, with almost no internet. More change. This job will last until Thanksgiving, then it’s back to wandering.

If you follow me here at TMG or at Fork in the Road or if you follow Heidi’s Good Life recovery blog and you find we’re not posting – or more importantly – not commenting on your blogs, it’s because the window of internet access is so small. This is the first time in the 30 hours we’ve been here that I could get on-line.

So, here I am: wandering, but not lost. I have Someone I’m following. I’ll visit you whenever I can, and write whenever I can. In between, I’ll continue to hold you in my prayers. And that’s a promise.

Author: Debbie

A former counselor and public speaker, I'm grateful for many, many things - God's grace most of all!

28 thoughts on “Lost”

    1. judi – I’m absolutely humbled by your prayers. I have one more week of employment, then a short trip, and then… I don’t know, but I don’t need to. I’m content, as you’ve prayed, to wait for His next step. 😀
      Thank you,
      Debbie

  1. I seem to remember a recent conversation on prayers promised. I’m going to take it a lot more serious as I say, my family will keep you lifted before our God who is able! God bless you good friend. (and by the way, it wouldn’t hurt to mention to your new boss that your fan-base can’t see the harm of two minutes of payroll lost – GIVE Debbie internet access!)

    1. Mike – You make me laugh.:D
      Believe me, in this industry, I’m an amoeba in the frac pond. I have an AT&T air card for internet access that usually is slow, but adequate. I guess we must be a real long way from a tower this time. Texas is pretty big, so you can be a long way from things all over the place!
      Your kind heartfelt words touched my heart. Thank you.
      (By the way – this time, I know I posted my Sunday song on Monday (unlike my calendar challenged days). What I don’t know is why I didn’t just call it a Monday song once I couldn’t get on line until 1 am Sunday…)
      Anyway, God bless you my friend and thank you for your prayers. All is well. God is ever good and I’ll see you as soon as I can.
      ~ Debbie

  2. Debbie…. nor am I a wanderer by nature. I have always preferred predictability and knowing I was enroute to some place with a purpose.

    Yet, in recent years, I have learned that a lot of my propensity toward predictability and structure was rooted in fear. I ended up going through some circumstances that lacked any form of predictability or structure and were wrought with twists, turns, and the unexpected.

    Although painful at first… no make that agonizing…or whatever you call agonizing x2… I felt I was left with no other choice than to trust God for the next step, the next moment, the next outcome. Predictability was gone. Period. Any forecast I made during this time never came to pass.

    I eventually learned that, not unlike the Children of Isreal in the desert, I needed to be led daily. Given that I had no other choice, I stepped forth. And like you, found I was taken care of.

    I too experienced my 11th-hour miracles. Phone calls with what I needed came in just at the right time.

    Not sure what God is up to with all of this, or why some phases of my life are more predictable than others, I just know that I learned so much about how much God is always there and continues to be. And that I can trust him even during times where I have predictability in my life. No different than when I don’t.

    Ciao.

    Chaz

    1. Oh Chaz, reluctant wanderer, although we’ve gotten lost on different roads, we’ve certainly been found on the same one by the same One!
      I was so rigid for so long that when I bent, I broke. As you know, we don’t break in a vacuum.
      So many were hurt by the shards. Forgiving others has rarely been hard for me. Forgiving myself has been a life long struggle. Only as I begin to grasp grace can I let go of guilt.
      So here I am, wandering, in part because of the consequences of my choices and in part, as a gift of grace.
      My life may never again be predictable, but it is rich in Him. Your closing lines sound so much like Paul’s “I’ve learned to be content in all things.” That is, I think, what it means to practice the presence of God. Thank you, Chaz, for your heart and your story.
      ~ Debbie

    1. Sharon – I’ve been praying for you and Eric since the death of your dear friend. For some reason, I’m unable to connect to anyone else’s blogs but hopefully that will change soon so that I can see how you’re doing. You remain in my prayers and I’m ever grateful for yours.:D
      ~ Debbie

  3. Haven’t been to Fork in the Road or Heidi’s Good Life (how’d I miss those?); but will have to spend some time visiting you there. Will be praying for you both as you start this new adventure (and I already did before my attention is taken away). Have a blessed day.

    1. Thank you, Drusilla. I love reading that prayers are already in progress! I posted (I think – I don’t know if it went through) an old hymn today. I couldn’t quite connect on Sunday. I’m pretty sure you’ll know this one, too! 😀 Thought of you when I was reading about it.
      Hope to visit you soon.
      ~ Debbie

  4. I’m with Debby … i’m missing you already! Change is not my forte either! I am the turtle, not the hare, by a long shot. Lots of deliberation on things.

    God took care of getting you a job … i hope you have time to write, write write, and then tell us all about your journeys and change and luck … hopefully happiness, craziness … the whole nan yards. (GET it NINE yards) … i have some southern friends, and i am at a loss. I usually pretend i understand and hope i don’t stick my foot in it!

    GRACE to you and Heidi!!! xoxoxoxo melis

    1. dear melis – So you’re a turtle, too!
      I’ve been trying and trying to get to your blog but my poor AT&T air card keeps losing it’s way.
      All is well here – I’ll keep trying to keep in touch. You’re in my prayers every day, whether you hear from me or not. Count on it!
      ~ Debbie

  5. I’ve been missing you already. I’m sure it won’t surprise you to know our daughter was also born in November 🙂 19 months before her brother. Seriously, there is some DNA connecting us somewhere! Thinking of you in the midst of change.

    1. Debby – I miss you, too. I’m was able to read 1 of your posts on my phone, but when I tried to comment, my words floated off in space.
      Of course I have to smile at your daughter’s November birthday and the spacing of our kids! Wow – we couldn’t even make up this many connections, could we? 😀
      You are my kindred sister – I don’t know how it happened, but it sure took and I’m grateful!
      ~ Debbie

  6. Oh Debbie and (Heidi – I will include Heidi since you both have limited access)
    I know and understand about the “wandering” – We can exchange stories when you both are more settled
    I am closer to God and His Plan as I draw closer to Him – so Incredible, isn’t it?
    I will keep you both in my prayers for God’s leading
    Change is in the air – can you feel it?
    Prayers for you both and your continued writing which helps encourage
    Susie

    1. Susie – Yes, change is in the air! That always makes me feel a bit like Mary Poppins, except for the practically perfect part! 😉
      Your prayers, as always, are a special grace.
      I’m hoping to visit you soon. I seem to pop off line about every 5 minutes, but I’ll get there some day soon!
      Thank you, dear heart!
      ~ Debbie

  7. all who wander are not lost. i saw this a couple of years ago on a picture in a gift shop. i am so pooped this a.m. i can’t think of one intelligent comment. i love you deb and certainly hope we can stay in touch. thanks for praying and for caring.

  8. Oh…to wander with God in peace…a small slice of Israelite’s 40 years! 🙂 I was born a “non-wanderer” too, but somewhere along this incredible journey of life, God changed me. Today I am definitely a wanderer, content with just enough light for the next step, and it’s a gift — this learning to be fully present in the moment — a blessing. Holding you close in prayer you wander through these days, knowing you are exactly where your Heavenly Father wants you for this day, this moment. God bless you in your journey!

    1. Cindee – That’s exactly how I feel – how did you know? 😀
      I rather expect to be a wander from here on. Learning to be fully present in the moment was a blessing I would have missed if I’d continued to insist on knowing what was around each bend (still learning, but more present than ever!).
      ‘Just enough light for the next step’ – beautiful!
      ~ Debbie

    1. Jan – Hello there! In these few moments of internet access I want to thank you for your kind encouragement. I haven’t seen a tarantula is several weeks (I’m starting to get used to them anyway) and I have seen His faithfulness all around! 😉
      ~ Debbie

  9. Debbie, I don’t know what to say. You’ve been so incredibly kind to me . . .and look at all you are going through. I had no idea. I read some on your Fork in the Road blog. God bless you and guard over you as you wander, but certainly are not lost. Praying for you and yours!

    1. Dearest Debbie – For a few moments, at least, the internet is smiling on me and I’m able to get on line. Reminds me of you, smiling on me with your words. If this post sounded as if I were complaining, I apologize. I simply meant it as an explanation of why I’m not writing and reading right now – and of God’s faithfulness – even to we wanderers. 😀
      God bless your tender heart,
      ~Debbie

      1. No dear Debbie . . .you didn’t sound like you were complaining! I just was in shock, sitting in my little comfortable house. God bless you and keep you, and smile upon you! 🙂

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