A Revolutionary Diet

The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.Ā  ~ I Samuel 16:7

Not too long ago, a former colleague dropped by for a visit. We hadn’t seen each other for several years. She greeted me in a rather surprising way. She walked in the door and said: Hi! Yes, I’ve gained weight.

I was somewhat taken aback as I said Hi and hugged her and asked about her life. I like to think that if she knew me better, she would know that wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. How difficult it is in a weight obsessed culture, for anyone to feel completely at ease in their own skin.

Some people are color blind, literally, and some are color blind in a more figurative, ethnic, sense. I’m weight blind. I truly never notice. It isn’t particularly a virtue; it just isn’t what I’m focused on. I’m more inclined to weigh words and moods than pounds.

When my kids were growing up, it became clear we needed to find a different kind of scale- one that would measure emotions. My daughter, who was unfailingly kind and thoughtful, consistently understated any problems. My son was perpetually happy and positive. These are wonderful traits but it made it much more difficult to know what might be weighing on their hearts and I these were hearts that I really wanted to know.

Eventually I developed a new set of household scales. When they were younger, we used it face to face. When they left for college, I asked them to weigh in via phone calls or emails. On a scale from 1 – 10, how’s your heart? I learned that I’m good could be anything from a 4 to a 9 1/2.

God’s seems much more interested in the weight we carry in our hearts, than the weight we carry on our thighs. Maybe we could start a new diet trend, weighing what really matters by asking each other: On a scale from 1 – 10, how’s your heart?

Author: Debbie

A former counselor and public speaker, I'm grateful for many, many things - God's grace most of all!

44 thoughts on “A Revolutionary Diet”

    1. Hello Judi – Creative loving is always needed, period. I very much need to practice careful listening to the hearts of those around me in the same way I tried to know the hearts of my children. I’m afraid that sometimes I’m more physically present – even on the phone or in emails, than mentally present.
      ~ Debbie

  1. HI Debbie…. That would be some scale wouldn’t it? I am sure if we could meaningfully measure the weight of matters in and on our heart, we would be less concerned about our physical weights. In fact, we would probably have less to be concerned about as our physical weights would probably be less problematic if our hearts were in better order.



    1. Hey Chaz! Isn’t that the truth!
      One of the books I listed in the ABC post was Larry Crabbs Inside Out. Such a great title and such a true concept. We/ I need to concentrate on making changes from the inside out. As you said, when my heart’s in ‘better order’, the rest of me follows along pretty willingly.
      ~ Debbie

    1. Melis – I accept it with honor. I have to give a bit of thought to what to say so it may be a little while. It took me all day to just do my ABCs today! šŸ˜‰
      ~ Debbie

  2. Oh Sis, this is wonderful, no surprise. I like your heart scale–weigh more important than poundage! My scale and I have an agreement–as long as it doesn’t put the “wrong” numbers up, it can continue to reside in my bathroom! Love to you–and God bless you BIG!

  3. I love this post, Debbie. We are such an appearance driven culture and you’re right, we often fail to “weigh” the most important things. The scaling question of “how’s your heart” you used with your kids is a great one!

    1. Dear Paulann – Thank you so much. Sad how easy it is to tip the scales the other way, isn’t it? I wonder if the time will ever come when I don’t have to consciously remind myself to give the most weight to the most important things and remain undistracted by the insignificant?
      ~ Debbie

  4. Gracious one . . .I’m glad that when we finally get to see each other (since we are going to be roommates) you won’t say anything about how I look much fatter in person than my half faced picture showed me to be. šŸ™‚
    And, you are such a good momma, such a good friend. One that cares about the inside more than the outside. Like Jesus. Thank you.
    God bless you and lift you up today . . .making you weightless in His arms.

  5. That’s a great approach Debbie. What a great way to turn a negative topic into a positive opportunity to be a blessing. Thanks

    p.s. I’d let Pot Pie say hello, but he won’t quit talking Texan. šŸ˜‰

    1. LOL! I love Pot Pie! I’ve reread his comments on Fork multiple times – he may need to send this Yankee a code! Thanks for being such a great combo of wise and fun!
      ~ Debbie

    1. Dear Dru – Thank you in advance. I’ll tune in tomorrow (hopefully). We’re under a tornado watch right now, expected to become a warning by early a.m.
      Thanks, my friend!
      ~ Debbie

  6. Wonderful idea though some days I don’t want to face the scale of my emotions any more than I want to face the scale for my body. In the end, denial isn’t good for either. I’ll have to use your scale more often.

  7. Funny you should post this just when I have decided to really buckle down and take off some of my extra pounds. šŸ™‚

    I can sympathize with your visitor. I was injured years ago which put me out of commission for quite some time. Because of it, I put on a few pounds. When I went back to work, I made a similar statement, and have been cringing at my big mouth ever since.

    I love your idea of measuring how our hearts are. Our physical size is not an indicator of our heart. Neither are pat answers that come off the tongue so easily. To ask that question is a good way to get to the real issues. Thanks for giving us a new way to find out if there is something wrong.

  8. Oh, and YES, i am the same way with peoples’ weight! Sometimes i notice if someone looks more healthy … but i never comment even if i do notice ANYTHING. I know that one misstep with ED folks can cause a huge weight loss, and truthfully, one comment can start that bitchy cycle again. Well, happy news!

    Right, is it a virtue? I don’t know. But our society is not virtuous with bodies and their judgments. It suckeths!

    1. dear mel – Thank you for the reminder of how devastating any kind of weight comments can be – particular to those with ED. Yes, societies focus on body image does ‘sucketh’. šŸ˜‰

  9. What a perfect post! I think you should put that post in iamnotshe. That is an awesome idea.

    It’s good of you to write about how people express their moods and heart. Not all of us folks (we all suffer in one way or another) are as blabbery about their misfortunes or problems as i am, and that’s OK.

    I always pray that Don’s kids have people they tell their “stories” to … as it is sometimes hard to tell mom and dad “10”, know what i mean?

    Not to worry, course, you are an awesome mom: I can tell because your heart is a 10 with people you have just met. Well… we’ve been around for awhile i guess!!! xoxo meliss

    Thank you so much!

    1. dear meliss – you’re more than welcome to re-post it if you wish (I can’t actually post on your blog) šŸ˜‰
      Thank you generous friend. I was a far from perfect mom – but not for lack of love or trying.
      ~ Debbie

  10. I love the idea of asking on a scale of 1-10 how their heart is doing. I often wonder about how my boy are doing when everyday (even days I may have gotten a call from the school) when I ask, “How was your day,” they answer,”Great”. I want to know more than that, and I think asking the way you did my really help. Thanks

    1. Hello Susie! It’s been a question that’s worked so much better for me than How are you? which is too often just a perfunctionary comment rather than a real question.
      Of course, if a person doesn’t want the real answer, it’s better not to ask the real question – right?
      God bless you also, my friend.
      ~ Debbie

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